There can be a lot of animosity following a divorce between parents in California. However, exes should try to avoid speaking unfavorably about one another in front of their children. This is one of several things they can do to help make the adjustment period less difficult for the family. It is important that children feel they can openly have a relationship with both parents, and they should feel free to express their love for both parents and stepparents.
Parents need to find a way to balance honesty and boundaries. They should try not to lie to children, but kids do not need to hear about the details of the divorce. Most importantly, the kids must understand that the divorce was not because of them. Children should be encouraged to share their emotions, and their parents should validate those emotions.
Children may want input into their schedules as they get older. In some cases, they might want to spend more time with one parent than the other. However, they may also want to spend a lot of time with friends as well, and parents should allow this since it can be important for social development. Children shouldn't feel like they must choose between their parents or be used to take information back and forth between parents.
Coparenting after divorce can be a struggle, but parents may set the foundation for it by trying to come to an amicable agreement about child custody during the divorce. Parents should try to focus on the children's best interests, even when this means less family time. Solutions include sharing custody or giving the noncustodial parent ample visitation time. An attorney could help a parent negotiate for a fair custody arrangement.