Children adjust well to many new situations. One that might not be so easy for them occurs when their parents divorce. Finding out that their parents are going to live in separate homes is a huge shock for these children. As a parent, you will have to help them adjust to this new situation.
With the stress of the entire situation, it is understandable that you won’t want to have to add any more to it. Unfortunately, one of they ways that you can help your children might be a bit more challenging for you. This is because it will require you to work with your ex.
Set a plan for consistency
Your children need to have consistency throughout their childhood. When you are going through a divorce, you can do this by trying to keep major aspects of the schedule the same across both homes. This might be bedtime and wake up time for younger children or study time for older children. There will be times when this will have to change, but trying to keep it the same most of the time can be beneficial.
Work as a team
You and your ex will have to remain a parenting team. It is hard to put the contentious issues aside, but putting in the effort to do this can help everyone. Once your children see that both parents will remain active parts of their lives, they will likely feel much better and be able to thrive. They won’t have to worry about one parent missing everything.
Support family relationships
A big worry for children who are in this situation is that they won’t be able to continue the relationships that are important to them. You can combat this by encouraging them to have meaningful relationships with all family members, even your ex and that side of the family.
Build new traditions
Traditions at your home, even if they are simple, give the kids something to look forward to. Maybe you can have an ice cream sundae night or go to the drive in movie once a month. Find out what your children enjoy and think about how you can include those activities into family time.
One of the best things that you can do during this period of change is getting your parenting plan in place. This sets the stability for the children so they know what to expect. It also lets you and your ex settle into a routine and adjust to the new situation.